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My Once-Molly (A Theft),

 














Hi Molly. How are you? The floods are here and I almost drowned – should have gone for swimming lessons as you often times suggested. Anyways, I now walk with a motorcycle tire’s tube and pump in my backpack. DIY lifesaver gear as instructed by Grade 3 CBC cohort.

Dear Molly, as I informed you last time, I shifted. Partly, the floods, partly, change, partly, finances. This Creative Writing journey is taking a bit of time to yield fruits, but I hang on, consoled by the words of one Ernest Hemingway, whose ending was horrible: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

Where I shifted to, is a downgrade. ‘Mabati’ rooms – plenty of stories, though as living is communal and one’s business is everyone’s business. Such as the recent theft – a woofer, charger, ‘meko’ gas, a bar of soap, and a bucket of maize flower - that’s how ‘flour’ is pronounced, FIY. Must have been pretty hungry, them thieves.

How it unfolded. A bit of commotion early morning as the light drizzle simmered down. An echo into my dreams, gradually lulling me into an uneasy state of wakefulness. A bitter exchange – innuendos and insinuations. I am now older, so, I take time, straining to hear the going-ons and get a fuller picture before I form an opinion or reaction.

Once, when I started life, I was rather young – the landlord demanded I produce an ID card to confirm I wasn’t an under-18. I also had an erratic career as an artiste – bits of community theatre, sporadic poetry sessions, chasing after slim writing opportunities – the quintessential romantic but starving artiste.

The bits of community theatre – afternoon rehearsals, trekking to different places to perform that were the outreaches, trekking back home in the eve… you can imagine I would be dead tired and would have trouble waking up the next day. Then, I would wake up at the most dishonourable time of 10am. Well, Covid-19 was yet to illuminate ghetto people of the concept of online work/gig economy.

On some days, we wouldn’t have rehearsals or outreaches planned out. Still, appearances had to be made. You see, for ladies, no one questions if they spend the whole day inside the plot. For young men, though, should a theft happen, they would be the automatic suspects. So, I usually retired to the community library to convince my neighbours that I was engaged in some productive work or other.

The present day. I am much older – bits of grey have strayed on my beard and I look like someone’s husband – wife and children could be upcountry, the unsaid verdict. Touts address me as ‘mzae’ – old man. ‘Kweli ujana ni moshi’ – youth is but a smokescreen. The outside conversation continues.

A lady neighbour is the one whose items were thefted. She suspects a young man who happens to be someone’s husband. She threatens to go visit a witchdoctor and have the thief or thieves soon eating grass in the manner of Nebuchadnezzar. The next day, she will print out a notice to this effect and glue it to the gate.

I am now outside, carefully weighing in. “Last night, I came home at midnight and the gate wasn’t locked…” True, this, and which had me worried about the safety of my belongings. I have lived long enough in Nairobi and knows just how crucial locking the gate is as a deterrence to housebreaking and theft. Good thing is, I am not a suspect. For now, at least.

Still, from now, I will have to keep up appearances – pretend as though I do an 8-5 job as expected. Else, make money speedily and shift. I hope it’s the latter. Please do help out by buying my book here: https://nuriakenya.com/product/a-funeral-dress-for-nyasuguta-by-mark-mwangi/

Anyways, I have discovered that there are free trainings at a nearby institution… beauty, catering, tailoring… I have put down my name for a tailoring course. They will be calling us in due course for the next intakes. ‘NMB’ – No More Boring – is a fashion label that will be coming out soon.

In the meantime, I keep writing lyrics and working on my stand-up comedy routine. Very Groucho Marx of me – writer, comedian, actor, artiste… I hope I’ll be as successful as him. If not, I will say, I tried my best. Write a song about it too. Bye for now, Molly, and keep dry.

Yours heart-in-ache,
Sant Mark

 

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